Hiatus

Okay...I need to stop this. I need a break. I’ve gotten sort of fixated on this whole situation and it needs to stop now. I need to accept that Allie’s going to be busy. I need to accept that Jane’s part of her life now but I refuse to think of her as Allie’s daughter. I caught myself mapping out the trip to Allie’s house. I still don’t have my full driver’s license, and we haven’t even made plans to meet. I’m not going to break the law, and I’m not going to barge into her house. I need to stop staring at Jane’s picture. There are these little hateful whispers in my head shrieking at her, telling me that she’s not human, and that’s probably true not right. Not right at all, Jane’s just a little girl and I-

I’ve been focusing my frustration about Allie being busy on her. Like it’s her fault. Like she can help the fact that she’s a child who needs to be looked after properly. I’m becoming my mother 

I refuse to let this continue. I will never end up like her. Never. 

I have....I have an art project for school to work on anyways. It’s painting. It’s going to take a long time, and I’m going to take a break from this until it’s done. I’ll stop pestering Allie. 

When the painting’s done, I can show her. She’ll probably have more free time then, right?

Heh. Who knows, maybe I’ll even post a picture here if it turns out well.

Until next time.